Life’s challenges are real right now. And I don’t care who you are or what your life looks like against someone else’s, all pain and anger and grief are allowed. Your feelings aren’t permissible or not based on your relative circumstances. We can oscillate between gratitude, and anger, and grief, and victory all in one day (or one hour).
So when it comes to navigating challenges with grace, to being able to find joy in a time that feels like one unrelenting uncontrollable test, I believe you are allowed your feelings and that it’s time for a conversation on how we wrestle with the obstacles in front of us.
Yet I am not the best person to share advice since I, too, am currently struggling. So to start the conversation on how we maintain joy in the face of adversity, I went to an expert.
When I was heavily involved in the blogging community years ago and living in North Carolina, I had the pleasure of meeting Molly, of Still Being Molly. If you follow Molly or have spent two minutes in her presence, you know she exudes joy and happiness. Yet dig a little further and you learn that joy and happiness comes in spite of incredible challenges she has faced. I have, and always will, find Molly’s journey and spirit inspirational.
Molly has publicly shared difficult personal trials with her community, and done so with honesty in a way that opens us all up to the idea that we can face tough things yet still be joyful. This dynamo hasn’t let anything stop her as today she maintains her beautiful lifestyle blog as well as a podcast about “Business with Purpose,” an ethical brand directory, and sells Young Living Oils.
When Compassion encouraged writers and bloggers to tell the story of a time they met, and overcame, obstacles, I decided to share Molly with you instead (and she graciously agreed to answer my questions).
While children, parents and families all over the world struggle with never-before-experienced obstacles, let’s take a moment to pause…to identify what is in our way…to assess how we look at those obstacles…then determine how we push through them to find the person we were meant to be on the other side. Obstacles form us. They are how we are chiseled even and ever more finely into our perfect, authentic selves. That is, of course, if we slow down, notice them, name them, and have true conversations with ourselves about how we rise up.
And this, friends, is where I want to share Molly’s words.
Q: What are some of the biggest, most defining challenges you have been through in your life?
A: “The three most defining challenges for me in my life would absolutely, without a doubt, be: the death of my mother when I was 17 years old after she battled a rare illness for almost 10 years, getting into tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt after college and the hole I had to dig myself out of, and, in 2018, I had two, back-to-back, second trimester pregnancy losses. I can say that those things have defined a lot of who I am today.”
Q: How has it been hard or helpful to have a public personality and audience while navigating personal experience?
A: “In all three instances, I dealt with them very differently in terms of public processing. When my mom died, I was 17, a senior in high school, and did not know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I was LOST. I shut down any grieving I should have done and just simply did not deal with the immense loss I felt. I didn’t talk to anyone about her death, really… and continued to just bottle it all up for years.
When I was going through my journey of becoming debt free in 2008, I had just started my blog in 2007. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my debt situation that I didn’t tell ANYONE. It wasn’t until 2012, six months AFTER I’d paid off my debt, that I actually shared my story online and it was SO freeing. The amount of comments and emails I received from people sharing with me their own stories … and man!, I wished I’d shared my story sooner.
Lastly, when I went through my pregnancy losses in 2018, I was 11 years into blogging and had even announced my pregnancy. So I had to share our tragic loss. I realized that so many women bottle up the loss of a pregnancy and I wanted to shed light on it because so many women go through a loss like this and never talk about it. I want women to know they aren’t alone in their grief.”
Q: How has going through the toughest, darkest times altered your faith and relationship with God? How did you personally find light during times of struggle?
A: “When my mom died, I didn’t know Jesus and so after her death, I wrestled with God. I was angry with God. I RAN from God. I actually got saved in 2010 while I was in the midst of my get-out-of-debt journey. God wrecked me, brought me to my knees, and taught me about true surrender. He taught me that I didn’t need to try to rely on my own strength to get through life’s challenges and that I was CREATED to depend on Him. When I lost my baby boys in 2018, I clung to Jesus. I ran to Jesus. I became closer to Him than I ever could have imagined. I am so thankful for Jesus and how He took my pain and struggle to change and refine me.”
Q: What is one piece of advice would you give to someone going through a tough time?
A: “Maybe it sounds cliche, but RUN TO JESUS. When times are tough, when things are hard, THAT is when you run to Jesus. He is there, He has never left, and He is waiting for you to run to Him for ALL of your needs. Let God’s Word fuel you.”
Q: How have you been able to move pain and discomfort to such a positive, life-changing experience? It is truly amazing how you allow yourself to feel pain and sorrow, but also use that to empower and change the world. How do you think you are able to do this?
A: “Again, truly… I would not be where I am or who I am without the Lord. I look back on the past 10 years of my life and I don’t even recognize the person I was 10 years ago. Jesus has transformed my life in every way shape or form. He has shown me what JOY is… not just happiness, but JOY. Joy and peace that surpasses all understanding and comes from Jesus alone. It’s not to say that life isn’t hard or that I don’t get angry / mad / sad / frustrated… but I have a foundation that can’t be shaken. I have a heavenly perspective on life and so I know that no matter what comes my way, I have the hope of heaven.”
May you have hope during these challenging times, and may you find your foundation that can’t be shaken, friends.
Visit Molly online to discover her lifestyle articles, podcast, ethical brand directory and more, at www.stillbeingmolly.com.
To sponsor a child through Compassion, read my article here and visit www.compassion.com.