Ed. Note: this post was written last year. The pink hair is gone, life is moving forward, but if you are wondering why ladies are popping up with colored hair lately, read on.
Look, the reason why Gilmore Girls is brilliant is not because of the quick, witty dialogue. Its brilliance shines through in its truth-telling, its ability to capture the complicated emotional journey women have. In
Lorelai is my spirit animal. Or Taylor Swift. Or Virginia Wolf. Depends on the day.
But I feel this lately, that I am standing still. Everyone around me moves forward, progressing, accomplishing and striving. They have new goals to meet and bars to clear…glass ceilings to break. New crossfit WODs, promotions, living on a sailboat, house swaps, having another baby, finding new relationships. Not me, I am so steady. I am so rooted. I no longer having major writing goals, I ferry my beautiful kids to their activities and I spend a lot of time watching elementary school sports. I clean the same house the same way. Laundry is always done on Sunday. We haven’t done a house project in I can’t even count how long.
I am not moving forward. I am standing still. I am boring.
So I went and got pink hair.
If you don’t know me, I will try to explain how out of character this is. I have had mom-hair since I was 20. I had a bad home perm once but swam in our above-ground pool 30 minutes later because Brian and Todd came over and when Brian gets in the pool, you get in too. In case he wants to kiss you (what can I say, I was 11 so that logic made sense. It was worth sacrificing the perm).
I have never dyed, teased or highlighted my hair. But one day this summer, in July, I sat my butt in the swiveling chair in front of a large mirror reflecting my egg-shaped head back at me and I said, “make it pink,” as though I was at a buffet.
There was not a lot of thought that went into this, but I have been so happy with the results. It feels like slowly my real self is emerging, like I am moving forward.
My entire life I have tried to be wrapped up into the perfect, slim, long-haired, stylish girl. I have been a people pleaser and I have lost sleep worrying that I may have offended others. I wanted to be Jessica from Sweet Valley Twins so badly and worked hard to form myself into some image that would promise me popularity, a boyfriend and, thereby, success.
My entire life has followed the appropriate good-girl timeline: do well in high school, do well in college, get good job, career climb, meet good man, do a little travel, have two kids, get big house, raise kids. The end.
But then it isn’t the end. Because life still goes on, only now it’s without clear stepping stones.
I don’t know what I want my future to look like but I know two things: I don’t want it to be boring and I don’t want to stand still. I don’t want my entire life to revolve around sitting on the sidelines of sports games I am not playing (no matter how much I love my kids). I want to move forward on something.
Pink hair: a shock to remind people, and myself, that I am still alive. I can be unpredicatable and unique and worth noticing. Even though I have given in to the mom life I haven’t sacrificed my personality and identity. And it turns out that my strip of pink hair hasn’t kept me from landing interviews and successfully securing new jobs. My career is peaceful, calm and, by most accounts, successful.
But with my pink hair, I can’t blend in anymore. I have to own my decision and answer the questions. Plus, I am not a head full of color since I still have the good girl gene in me. I guess I am a mixture of Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield. But I am finally letting the world see a little of the true me, the one that doesn’t want to hide. The me that wants to move forward. The me that doesn’t want to stand still. The pink haired me.
BOLD: (defined)
not hesitating or fearful in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff; courageous and daring; not hesitating to break the rules of propriety; necessitating courage and daring; challenging; beyond the usual limits of conventional thought or action; imaginative
THE BOLD LIFE CHALLENGE:
I designed this challenge to push myself outside of my comfort zone. Adventure doesn’t have to be overseas, it can be in our own backyards.
I wanted to force myself to try new things, to learn to embrace my life, to take a situation where I was feeling lonely and force a new perspective. There is way too much fun, adventure, laughter and good people in the world for me to feel sad.
There is only one goal to this challenge: to live life BOLDLY. To live with courage, imagination, and to live outside conventional action. It is here life expands.