Remember my last post, the one where I shared gratitude and Family Friday Five links? No? Probably not because IT WAS SO LONG AGO. But here I am, months later, and you all are still clicking (thanks) and I am still thinking (fortunately). And I find myself pulled back to this cursor and this website.
Would you believe me if I told you that over this past summer we tragically lost a dear friend? Then our city was hit by Hurricane Florence (and yes, our house was hurt, but overall, we are fine). Then our dog was bit on her foot by a copperhead (she’s okay). A well-known national chain ruined my car during a standard oil change, costing hundreds of dollars and a lot of headache. Add in the standard everyday stuff like sprained ankles and multiple wasp stings on one hand, and, well…. summer was rough. There was joy in the cracks, and humor in the struggle. But it also meant that reveling online and writing my heart were not forefront in my mind. My mind was actually a scary jungle in mid-September.
Today, though, I find myself on a new cusp. I have left my Managing Editing job at two local magazines (see above paragraph about what we went through this summer for an explanation). So I am “unemployed” or “self-employed.” Tomato/tomahto.
It feels scary but it’s okay! I read a lot of self-help books (see below, where I share my favorites) so I’ve got this. I know that right now, this time in my life, is a momentary step into a future I don’t yet know or understand.
I know that I am on a God-lit path, I just don’t know where it ends. Which, as an avid hiker, I am kind of used to knowing exactly where the path goes, how long it is, what the terrain will be, and how many calories I will burn. So this is a new place of acceptance and trust for me.
Well, I lied. I guess not entirely new. After all, I’ve jumped around a lot since my children were born. Freelance writing, ghost writing, writing as a newspaper stringer, editing luxury hotel reports, SEO work, conference speaking, content marketing, founding blogger networks, social media marketing, secret-shopper blogging for parents, editing, and managing editing. And while I’ve jumped from path to path – to path to path – I’ve ALWAYS jumped TO something. Something that paid.
Does this all mean that I have a really hard time following the path meant for me (do I keep getting distracted by pretty things) or IS this my path? Or is it just that my path more like a crazy train?
But here’s where we come out, friends. Here is where I am going with this confession…
Instead of focusing on the frustrating, fearful, and guilt-inducing aspects of my life over the past 10 years of motherhood, I want to celebrate this moment. At least I have the courage to change. Rather than bemoaning the fact that yet again I didn’t walk with a job into the retirement sunset, I am going to pat myself on the back for having the tenacity to try to use my talents in a different way – a way in which I am totally trusting that God’s got me, even if he is not telling me where we are going.
It is scary to admit that things need to change. It is hard to rely on Mr. Family Trip’s hard-worked hours for our family’s sustenance and not use my college degree to take me to a financially level playing field. It is HARD to admit that my path looks different : different than that person over there who is wildly successful and different than how I ever thought I would look.
And, friend, my path looks different than yours. But my question is, are you actually following yours?
It’s okay if it’s a crazy train path, like mine. Positive side? Those of us on the crazy train path have adventures and stories galore. We do really well at cocktail parties. So I think you should get off the path that makes you walk hunched over and sad, and get on the path that looks WAY more fun (even if it means popcorn for dinner because canned tuna is way too expensive on this new budget).
Please note there are some affiliate links below. This means that if you click, we see a small benefit, but it does not affect our magazine readers at all.
There are easy ways to change, even if not all of us can rip off the Band Aid and rely on a Mr. Family Trip to keep the hemorrhaging down.
First, we have to sit down and get to know ourselves. This is, seriously, one of the hardest things to do. We have to intentionally seek, probe and plan. That’s why I’ll be using the Cultivate What Matters Powersheets this year (thanks to my sister for that birthday gift).
Second, we need to read. We need to hear wisdom, soak in inspirational stories, and learn real tips from those who bravely went ahead of us. Try these:
- You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
- anything by Brene Brown (I don’t live a lot on the shame scale -probably because I have such a terrible memory I can’t remember to be ashamed – but still inspirational)
- Cultivate by Lara Casey (especially if you plan on using those Powersheets)
(That should get you started. When you finish those, come back and I’ll give you more.)
Third, we need to pray. Or meditate. Whatever floats your boat. Spending time clearing the head and heart and just listening to what the universe tells us may sound super hippy, but it super works. If you need help getting started, try the app Headspace. The basics package is free and a great introduction. Also, get 10% Happier for a great read on meditation’s power.
Fourth, we need to rely on our network. And Lord, let me tell you, I have USED MY NETWORK these past few months. Two of the best friends a girl could ask for have hugged me even when I said I was fine, fielded hundreds of texts from me about why I was cranky and upset, and then showed up to have some wine and dance and laugh with me. We treat our friends with respect, and we have to giveth as well as taketh. But we can’t be afraid to taketh either.
My hope for you, for all of us, is that we have courage and use the power God gives us to follow our true north. Let’s walk the crazy train path together.